my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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