Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
