I murdered the dance floor call the cops
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
