All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
