u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
