I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am one with the molecules
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
