I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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