tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize