His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
