census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
