we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
