feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
