She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
