if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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