He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize