I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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