Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
