The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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