No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize