I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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