my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize