im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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