So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
