no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
