I forgot how hot balto sounded
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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