Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize