Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
