Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
