is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
