What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
