You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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