if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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