you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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