Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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