Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.