When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself