is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?