and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
