my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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