I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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