You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
