I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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