spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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