Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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