Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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