Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
