the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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