Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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