does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
