Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
