You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize