I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize