dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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