Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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