He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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