It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
