I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
