I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
