your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
