I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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