Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
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I'm just crazy horny about you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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