i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
