We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
