god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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