What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
