You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
