i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
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You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"