How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok