They should really pass out barf bags in church
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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