Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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